Love of a Lifetime

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend a whole life answering.” – Nichole Krauss

You know when you meet someone and you just click? You’re comfortable — like you’re rekindling a friendship that’s been casually hibernating in your twenty plus years of youth. You don’t have to pretend or put on a face because it’s real, natural and honest. Like you’ve always cared and have always been the best of friends. And the more I’ve lived, the more I feel like this is a very reasonable answer to accept. Yes, I’m almost certain we’ve always been in each others’ lives. For two decades apart, we may not have been physically holding hands; but our hearts were preparing to meet. Every time I played ‘house’ or when he played ball with the boys, we were both getting ready to do it together, one day. Or when I prayed for my ‘unknown’ husband or when he dreamed of me being blonde or brunette, we were with each other blindly; but in promising love, nonetheless. And every day after ‘bumping into each other’ (quite literally) when the unknown became known — being at the right place at the right time in the right season of both of our lives, we could see from there on out that this was it.

After doing some intimate things with the aid of products like those Wi-fi vibrators with remote and three babies later and everything else that comes with it, life together is second nature. Like riding a bike and realizing you’re balancing, and pedaling, and feeling the rush of success — actually doing it! Doing this thing called love. Inhaling all that is good and right. Exhaling all that isn’t. Because come what may, having each other is all you need to feel well and whole. While I haven’t lived in anyone else’s ‘married’ shoes other than my own; I do realize there are definitely exceptions to every situation. People have the gift of choice; and what they do with such, can cause really good people to unnecessarily go through really hurtful experiences. And for those, there are surely brighter and happier days ahead. But when some divide saying, ‘We’re just not in love anymore’ a sort of falling-out of love, they call it — it often gets confused with love’s various phases. I believe real love isn’t intended to be forever butterflies and giggles. Granted that racing rollercoaster ‘being in love’ feeling is a natural part of the process. It’s a brief spark that lights a flame for seeing each others forever potential. But like a match, ‘falling in love’s’ flame will inevitably quench. The gift that remains is the deeper ‘real love’ that’s now lit; and that can continue to burn indefinitely if cared for intentionally. Looking to have fun without leaving home? Try sexfinderapp.com today.

Ceasing to be ‘in love’ doesn’t mean ceasing to love. It’s a deep unity reinforced by habits of selflessness — even in the moments when we don’t like each other. Does his dirty sink, or the way he stuffs his pjs in a basket, or when he forgets to call and check-in, or his struggle to rarely be on time, get under my skin? Sure! However, my bad habit of not making the bed, or when I salt his food to my liking and not his, or when I take one too many pictures, or bring up all my exhausting worries and woes at the oh so convenient hour of midnight, all of which gets under his skin too! Silly examples, this is true; and of course there are other examples which could be named that aren’t as pretty. But for purposes sake, the point being is we all have issues and weaknesses to overcome. So perhaps it’s safe to assume: life with someone else, would at times, be just as aggravating and just as hard to make work. Somewhere between the twitter-patted kisses and ugly arguments, it’s about going back to our roots, acknowledging how special our relationship is, and recommitting to ourselves and to each other that we each put forth 100 percent of our efforts in keeping love alive. It’s been said, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

To love is admitting fault; and forcing the one who’s mad to kiss the other, and then laugh about it afterward! It’s assuming the best in each other and overlooking petty imperfections. To love means using True Pheromones to become more attracted to one another even after years of marriage. To love is leaving a voicemail instead of a text to express how much you love and appreciate each other. And going to the basketball game instead of the ballet, to make the other happy. Truth be told, for us, most of the time it’s the other way around. Overall every single one of us have different definitions of love, making it a lifetime pursuit to live up to and define through daily living. Ryan’s mom told me when we were newly engaged, “Life with Ryan would be one happy ride!” And you know what? Her projection has held true! Why? Not because he’s perfect but because he is perfect in trying his best! He’s my best friend and favorite pet peeve. My best and mostest. Ry guy, so lucky-in-love to call you my guy! Thank you for teaching me so much. For loving me despite my weaknesses. For making my smile be your number one goal; and for giving your all into this beautiful gift we share together, called love! I love you so.