- Midweek date night to the theatre – Les Miserables. Cufflinks – Valentine gift found HERE.
I like to think of myself as an optimist. Yet, far too often, I find myself worrying when he leaves. I seem to unconsciously take a mental picture to hold onto, just in case. In case of the worst.
I record his twinkly smile, the way he pats LuLu on the head and tells her to be a good girl, his voice when he says family prayer, the heart he draws in the air with his finger and then points it back at me (saying “love you”) – all the little things that would be my last memories.
I know it’s awful to think like that. And when I do, it brings me to tears.
He makes our life full.
And it would be empty without him.
Not entirely sure why I chose to share these heartfelt feelings with you.
I suppose it’s because it happened again.
He requested waffles for dinner; but we were out of eggs. Naturally, he went door to door asking our neighbors. While he was gone, Gage woke up from his nap and asked where Daddy was. He took it so far as to run around the house – in and out of each room hollering, “Daddy? Where are youuuu? You in here? No. In here? Nooo. Mama, where’s Daddy?”
My heart sank.
How would I explain it all to Gage, if he never came back?
I knew Ryan was being his typical self, chatting it up (he’s overly friendly like that). I wasn’t worried in the slightest about him coming back home. In fact, as soon as the front door opened, Gage bear-hugged his legs saying, “Missed you so much, Daddy!”
I suppose the other reason I’m sharing with you, is for a personal reminder: to be thankful for the tiniest of things that he does (even those that may annoy me – for those would likely be the things I’d miss most), for all that he is and all that he strives to be, and to always remember I’m his everything.
Honey, don’t go anywhere. Ever.
We love you too much!