Fun

Counting Minutes

May 25, 2012

Because Missy promised I’d write a post, here goes nothing (a little nervous)…

With today being Gage’s birthday and last week’s birth of our 2nd son, a dad experiences a lot of thoughts and feelings that sometimes go unexpressed.

Us guys are good at keeping quiet in this area, no?

I’ve thought a lot about life as the past few weeks have unraveled. It’s been a special time and a time where we’ve seen a lot of change.
It’s the alone time that makes me reflect on all that I’ve been given (unlike Missy, I get some alone time during my commute to and from work).

I don’t know in what time of life people decide to grow up and move on to bigger and better things. I don’t know if certain life events cause people to change or if people really never change at all and they are old or young souls their entire life. These past few years have been a great learning experience for me and I’ve realized it’s time for me to grow and mature. I now have two children. I want them to look at me as I looked at my dad. I want them to want to follow my example and try to be good people. I realize we live in a world where some people don’t have fathers and mothers and children, but I have been entrusted with two children and a wonderful wife and it’s time for me to act the part.

Can I just gloat for a minute and tell you how proud I am of Missy? She doesn’t want me to rant on but allow me to give her some much deserved credit. With both boys’ births, she suffered through so much physical and emotional pain, because of love. Love of someone she had never met and love of our family. I am so impressed by this selfless act. No one on earth can explain the emotions that a husband can feel in a labor and delivery room. I felt helplessness for her pain, I felt out-of-control (which for my family, I don’t like to feel), I felt humility and sorrow, and then I felt this overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.

As a child, I never really understood how much my own mother loved me until I’ve witnessed Missy’s love for our children. As a guy you would never understand until you have a child of your own. I see the way she looks at Gage and Beckam and it makes me love her more. She loves those boys more than anything else in this world and it makes me so happy.

It’s with these thoughts that I ask myself, would I sacrifice so much for the betterment of my family like Missy did? And how can I show similar selflessness as a father? Fathers worry most about providing for their families. It seems like if anything, that is what is constantly on my mind. But is that really how my life should be measured, by how much money I make? Sometimes, money costs too much.

As one of our family mottos we say, love is spelled T-I-M-E.

When time passes and I look back on my life, I’d like to say my time was spent on my family. Time with my boys in the yard. Time with my wife late at night talking in bed. Time teaching. Time learning. Time enjoying life with my family.

That’s the gift I can give my family that will require the most sacrifice and will yield the greatest happiness.

  • Jenedy May 25, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Beautifully written Ryan. I loved how you said sometimes “money costs too much”. So true. If there’s anything that the past six months has taught me, it is that these everyday moments really are the things that you’d give everything for in the end. Time with your kids and your family really is one of the greatest gifts God has given us.

  • Noelle Murray May 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Hey Ryan! Congratulations to Missy and your family! I loved reading your feelings about being a father and wanting to be like your father. I’d say that you are doing him proud. Your dad is one of Zak’s most influential men in a father, business man, and righteous leader.

    Your family is so sweet and happy. Best of luck in this new chapter in your lives!

  • Liz May 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Great post!!! So well written!! Congratulations to you and Missy on your beautiful and growing family!!!

  • Rebecca Mauch May 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Congratulations! Ben and I are so happy for you guys! We love that we were able to cross paths with some amazing people and share in the day you found out your newest little guy was beginning his journey! Hope all is well and maybe we can be shipmates again some day!
    Great job with the post also! Xoxoxo

  • Anna @ The Guiltless Life May 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Aw it’s great to hear from Mr. Pink Pistachio from time to time ;). But it’s very true – I had parents who were both teachers so we had tons of time together on vacation etc. I lost my dad quite young but I am so grateful for all the time I spent with him. I have many friends whose fathers are still alive of course (I’m only 26 after all) and yet they are always telling me they don’t feel close to him because he was basically an absent parent growing up, just at work. He didn’t do anything WRONG – he wasn’t abusive or bad to their mother or anything, he just wasn’t THERE. That really hurts people, as far as I can see. I will forever be grateful that my dad dedicated his time to us, so I think you and Missy have the formula of love = time down just right!

  • Anna May 26, 2012 at 2:00 am

    I just found this blog from a pin on Pinterest and I had to check it out. I love it and I love this post.

  • Mark Jr. May 29, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Come on Ryan… at least teach him using the right club! Miss you guys and stuff. Can’t wait to see the new guy.

  • kim dean June 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    seriously, just so so precious! i am impressed. missy, you got a good one. such a sweet lil fam.